2: Chop it up.
3: Fry it - with olive oil or butter - better yet, with olive oil and butter.4: Season with salt n' pepper.
5(a): Add beaten eggs to make omelette (Obviously, garnish with chives only if it's your intention to photograph it for a blog) or:
5(b): Slap onto ketchup-loaded wholemeal doorstep.
6: Stuff into face.
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