Wednesday, 6 October 2010

Dirty job.

I was standing in front of the 'reduced items' fridge in the supermarket of the grim estate down the road earlier today, holding a knock-down plastic pack of pink and perfectly oblong 'sliced pork product' & thinking the sort of thoughts I always think when I'm on the verge of buying this sort of thing, i.e., gloom, gloom, gloom and more damn gloom.

In the end, I didn't. I bought fruit - like you do - and cycled home instead, still feeling low.

I'm off to London for the day tomorrow and buying anything to eat on the go there requires a small mortgage - so taking sandwiches is pretty much a necessity. But what could I put in my butties? Nada. Zip. There was nothing in the fridge (since I don't actually have a fridge) and the cupboard was bare.

So, go out and try to get a rabbit? Oh God, I'm not sure I can be arsed.

So I blobbed & played 'Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas' while the sun started to go down outside.

No. Bugger this - go out. Try and get some grub for tomorrow.

I needed to change my jeans though, they were clean on this morning. Could I be bothered? No, no I couldn't - I'll just make sure I don't get them dirty...

So, obviously, when I drop to take a shot, I drop straight into a nice fresh pile of cow shit and then, before I've figured out what I'm lying in - before the smell and the damp start to make themselves felt - I roll around on the ground to get into a better shooting position.

Still, got something for my sandwiches.

Time for a shower.

7 comments:

  1. OH I'm sorry but this is just too funny! Hopefully you had a clean pair of jeans on hand. The rabbit looks tasty though.

    ReplyDelete
  2. One of these days, I'll have to share my story with you about lying down in a bed of cactus as I prepared to make a shot on a rabbit. Suffice to say it was NOT a fun experience, nor a flattering account of my marksmanship. Hunting fuzzy butts is a whole different experience on this side of the pond.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I know this is strange, but I have a friend who gets really hungry when he smells cow s**t, he says it originates from when he worked on the farm mucking out, the mucking out was always done when it was breakfast time, and it has stuck with him ever since!!
    Rabbit is best served when caught by ones self ha ha

    ReplyDelete
  4. Rogue Huntress,
    I'm glad. I washed 'em, but forgot the stain gloop - so they're buggered now. Ah well, all goes towards my 'rural chic' look, I suppose...

    Le Loup,
    Thank you mate!

    Silk Line River Horse,
    Crikey, 'ouch' indeed.

    Thanks all,
    HH

    ReplyDelete
  5. Chris the Rambler,
    (and welcome, by the way, nice to get your comments) Yeah, I've heard of people that can walk into a Maccy D's, sniff the air and go 'yummy!'. No accounting for taste...

    Best,
    HH

    ReplyDelete