I am sorry that it has come to this point, but I feel it is called for that I should make a definitive statement and, once and for all, put an end to this tide of idle prattle concerning namby-pamby, womanish and un-natural materials. The Good Lord did not put us on this earth in order for us to make mock of ourselves! No, we are made in the image of our Creator and we should, therefore dress, in our leisure time, much as he would; which is to say, primarily, of course, in stout tweeds, brogues and with a decent bloody cap on. None of this beastly 'Gortex' nonsense.
There. We'll speak no more of it, now: the matter is closed.