Rabbit Stew: 2009

Thursday 31 December 2009

Thanks!

I've just come back from spending a snowy Christmas with friends near Newport on Tay where I had the joy of seeing, for the first time in my life, hares racing about in the fields.

Snowy fields near Newport-on-Tay

The turn of the year seems like a good time to send out my thanks; I started blogging here about air rifle hunting & shooting on February 9th this year and this will be post 134; the blog has received 13,832 visits and 25,117 pages views so far. I've certainly very much enjoyed my end of things - writing and fiddling with photo's - but this amounts to little compared to the pleasure I've had from all the comments, responses and feedback to the blog. So I thought this would be a good time to express my gratitude.

My thanks go in particular to:

Albert A Rasch (currently in Afghanistan), for his generous and enthusiastic support both for this blog and for the life of the Hunter-Blogger community in general.

The Suburban Bushwacker - the premier UK Hunter-Blogger! - for his links, comments and the pleasure of the conversations we've had.

NorCal Cazadora - Mighty Queen of the Hunter-Bloggers! - it's an honour to be on y'r blogroll, ma'am!

Mungo Says Bah! - Thanks for your links and support and the pleasure that your always-delightful photography has given me.

Thomas - I faintly suspect that, were I in the States, my voting choices wouldn't meet with your unqualified approval - but your kindness, comments and emails have greatly enlivened this blog, broadened my outlook, sharpened my knives and improved my shooting.

Fred - many thanks for that Rhino Scope you were kind enough to send me. I've been such a lazy bugger of late that - and I'm embarrassed about this - I've yet to use it in the field. But that day will come, and soon, I'm sure.

Tony of Sandwell Field Sports (probably the best gun shop in the UK) - for tuning my old HW80k - it's a different gun thanks to you and I'm very much looking forwards to the barrel work you've suggested.

Many thanks for the comradely links and support from James Marchington, Harris' Hawk blog, Wandering Owl Outside, Wildcat Outdoors, Backyard Safari, Hodgeman, Lone Star Parson and Murphyfish.

To those that have hit the 'Donate' button on the left: You know who you are - please know also my very sincere thanks to you.

To those who've clicked the ads on the blog: Google Adsense quite rightly forbids me from encouraging you, but it can't stop me thanking you!

Thanks, cheers, and a Happy New Year to you all!

Thursday 17 December 2009

The Hackney Farmer Karma of Hubert.

Joy! After months of relentless lurking in charity shops I finally landed myself an authentically smelly, wrinkled and grubby fake Barbour Jacket! Hallelujah! The search is over: with my new jacket, straggly beard and filthy flat cap I am, at long last, the very image of a bona-fide Hackney Farmer.

A Hackney Farmer? Just so: one who affects the full trappings of rural work-wear and yet can be seen to do nothing but lounge around all day in Starbucks with a Mac on their lap, cradling, in their moisturised, callous-free hands, naught more burdensome than a de-caff soya latte.

C'est moi!
I might now look like a scion of the rural working community, but I've been nowhere near the fields for... well, for what seems like months.

Anyway, now fully outfitted for appearance in the country I, of course, headed straight for the city (with the ever-lovely Mrs. Hubert)...


...and strode around proudly in the crowded streets, resplendent, so I felt, in my new-found, very becoming, son-of-the-soil, rural garb.

Out for a meal at my brother-in-law's place in the city, the three of us were just finished with the first bottle of wine each and, swaying somewhat, I struggled into my new coat and went out into the garden for a smoke.

As I left the warmth, my brother-in-law elected to bring his fluffy and adorable pet rabbit into the cozy, wine-and-roast-chicken perfumed snug of his lounge to warm up a wee bit. All very nice.

Fag finished, I came back inside, dropped everything and said 'yes please!' to another glass.

The rabbit ate my bloody jacket.

In a flash, in the space of a minute the damn thing put about a dozen holes in it; big holes, not little nibbled scratchy marks, dirty great big inch-across holes.

Now, I'm very happy to pretend I'm a farmer but I'm less happy, far less happy, to appear like someone who lives in a bush and talks back to his voices (obviously, since this is actually who I am, and the whole useful and enjoyable point of costume is putting on the orthopaedic mask of someone that you're not). So the hole-riddled jacket went on the peg in the hall and stayed there for a month while I contemplated it in passing every day with a grumpy scowl on my face.

Pedalling back from the giant charity warehouse on the outskirts of the town where I live the other day (where I'd gone to try and find a cheap fridge, since my old second-hand one has chosen this helpfully chilly part of the year to finally break down) I spotted a mouldy green lump in a ditch which, on inspection, turned out to be another filthy fake Barbour.

Joy! (and thanks, God.)

I cut the less mouldy strips of the waxed fabric from the discarded wreck of the coat and, over a few nights, stitched them onto the rabbit-wrecked remains of my own.


Job's a good 'un.
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Winter draws on.

Winter has come to the West Midlands; the first flakes of the season's snow fall invisibly through the late afternoon's darkness, glitter for a moment in the yellowy-orange glow of the street lights and shiver down finally onto the lawns, the roofs of parked cars and the piled-up, wind-blown remains of Autumn's long-fallen leaves.

Do they fall on Hubert, hunkered in a field somewhere, one boggling eyeball frozen to end of a scope?

Nope; no-sirree; no they don't - for Hubert is inside: crouched in the weak field of warmth that's grudgingly given by the ancient storage heaters in his near-Arctic flat; long-john clad, duvet-wrapped, chain-smoking roll-ups and dreaming of summer...

Wednesday 21 October 2009


I've decided that I'm going to write all further posts on this blog in verse. So there will now be a small pause (of some years, probably) in which I learn how to write poetry.

(Also it's damn chilly and wet in the sodden, autumnal West Midlands and lying under a dripping hedge at dusk with an iron-sights rifle seems about as attractive to me as ... something very unattractive.)

Meanwhile, I send my most hearty congratulations to Holly on the occasion of her first deer.

Wednesday 14 October 2009

Drug abuse, idleness and mobile phones.

Today, nostrils crammed with snuff and my head spinning pleasantly, I lay on the grass of a cool Autumn field and gazed up into the branches of an oak tree; leaves - one or two at a time - fluttered down to join me.

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Later, lying in a another field, I heard someone shouting; a large man appeared with a mobile phone at his ear and a red and white spaniel at his heels. He advanced into the field, lay down himself and continued his conversation while his dog raced around him. The call finished, he stood up, hitched up his tee-shirt and - baring his generous white belly in the act - scratched his shoulder at some length. This done, he greeted me with a cordial wave and left the field followed by his dog.

Pausing to exchange a series of whimsical text messages with my wife, I mooched in stages down a fence-line free of rabbits.

Dusk fell and the snuff ran out. Wholly unburdened with game as I was, a vision of cocoa and cheese on toast easily carried me home.

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Tuesday 13 October 2009

At work in the fields

lying in the fields

I crawled through a hedge yesterday, like you do, and found myself under a tree. I took my rifle out of its bag, popped in a pellet and lay back against the tree. A flutter - and a wood pigeon landed in the branches above my head.

The times I've cooked them in the past, I realised last night, I've overcooked them; they don't need long: twenty minutes in the oven yesterday and this one was superbly tender and delicious.
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Monday 12 October 2009

(S)Canned Veg

Scouring the 'reduced' shelves for food as I do, I'm often struck by the way that price tags and labels have come to dominate the appearance of the items on sale. Here are two fine specimens from my recent expeditions:



Thursday 8 October 2009

Brrrrrr!

  • A bracing, heart-expanding Autumn evening; I stride briskly to the fields at dusk and sit motionless behind a stile for half an hour. In the distance, I can see scampering brown blobs but, near at hand, nothing stirs.
  • I get up and walk down the fence line; a cold mist is rising off the fields; it is, I realise, damn cold.
  • I shiver and - ninja-like, except for copious nose-blowing and snuff ingestion - continue to edge down the field.
  • I shiver more and realise that I am actually on the brink of hypothermia. Striding vigorously about and admiring the Autumn is all well and good, sitting motionless on the ground in a field is another matter entirely.
  • Rather than perish in a chilly field I elect to knock hunting on the head and go home to get warm.

Wednesday 30 September 2009

Camper Van Bicycle

I've had a bizarre idea now for about a year (one of a number, it has to be said) concerning the adaptation of a bicycle into a kind of mobile home. Obviously, this makes no sense at all: why not simply put a tent in a pannier, ride to one's destination and erect said canvas dwelling? Much more sensible. Nonetheless the idea (as bizarre ideas are wont to) persisted.

Browsing the interweb the other day I was very startled to chance upon this image:


The very thing I'd imagined! How extraordinary!

Investigation, however, revealed that this is a 'sculptural art object' fabricated by a gentleman called Kevin Cyr (more details here).

Shame! I'd really like one.

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What's for Dinner?

I was in a charity shop yesterday and I overheard the staff talking about catching and eating sea-food on a holiday one of them had taken recently:

'...so he was out the front of the cottage, gutting the fish...'

'Oh no! I could never kill anything, me!'


'No, no, me neither - well, of course, I'd step on a spider!'


'Well, me too, yes.'


Just then I noticed an unusual book on the shelf in front of me.

Sunday 27 September 2009

Festival of Breaking Things

I managed to crack a window in my flat a couple of days ago. I had a panel of double-glazing in one room which had filled up with condensation because the seals had broken. I decided that drilling a little hole through the glass to try and let the water vapour out might be a good idea. So, about a month back, I used a little diamond drill bit and - making sure it didn't get too hot while drilling - managed to put the hole in without any problems. The hole in place, I left it to see if the condensation would evaporate and the window return to transparency.

Weeks passed and nothing happened so I decided to enlarge the hole. Again, I did it carefully and made the hole a little bit bigger. Then I thought, 'I know, I'll get a fan heater, blow some hot air through the hole and see if I can't drive out some of the condensation that way'.

After thirty seconds of that, of course - ping! - the window cracked.

I cursed myself for foolishness and then sat around in a funk.

Soon bored with funk, I thought I'd go out and do a bit of shooting. On my way out of the flat I propped my bagged rifle up against the door frame while I grabbed my jacket and - bugger! - it promptly fell to one side, straight down onto the scope, bent the 50 millimetre end-lens housing out of true and cracked the central tube.

So, the scope's on E-bay, I'm on the look out for a nice, tasteful window sticker and I've gone back to shooting with iron sights.
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Sunday 20 September 2009

Zeroing Air Rifles: Festival of Missing Things


I was reading a thread on an air gun forum last night about shooting with pre-charged pneumatics (here) and so I went to sleep thinking - well, among other things, sure - about accuracy in the field. The folk in the thread are discussing the pellet-on-pellet performance that can or can't be expected from an out-of-the-box Weihrauch HW100 - and in terms of what they wrote and how it compares with the sort of thing that I can produce with my old springer, well, I might just as well attempt to hone the rabbit-stopping properties of my critical thinking as attempt to match the precision of these things (I quote):

"At 30 yards once you've found the the right pellet it should be 1 single hole."

[At 30 yards] "You should be getting ragged one hole groups at that distance."

"Both me and a mate was out the other evening perfect conditions, he too shoots a HW100KT and he shot a rabbit at 51 yds bisley magnum, and I shot one at 54 yds logan penetrator. Both shots were premeasured with laser rangefinder both perfect head shots instant kills. Neither of us are annie oakley but these rifles are deadly accurate if running as they should."

The image at the top of this post is my last zeroing effort a few days ago with my, as ever, boingy old HW80k. I'd taken about three shots the day before - thirty-yard shots, all - and missed every time. So in something of a funk, since I'd zero'd about two days before this, I went and fired off the first group (top left in the photo) from an unsupported sitting position at thirty yards (with H&N field target pellets).

And yes, the group showed that I was, indeed, out. So I dialled it up two clicks and fired off another set (top right). O.K, a little too high this time, so I took it one click down and fired off the third group (bottom left).

Well, O.K. That'll do, I thought. The last group did show a little bit of a left drift, but that could just have been the wind perhaps. The first two groups weren't to the left so I didn't adjust on the basis of the last one being a bit skewiff left-wise.

I certainly do wish that I could dependably hit a rabbit at 54 yards - but it would be crazy for me to even try. Twenty to thirty is about my limit and - even then - I miss a good deal.

Sometimes, when faced with an ideal like this against which I can judge myself, I can tend to think, 'ah, gawd, I shouldn't even be out shooting if this is the best I can do'.

I suppose that what I then do is remind myself that I'm not going out shooting in order to try and win any accuracy competitions, I'm actually going out because I want to try and get my dinner.

It's also becoming clearer to me that if I think that zeroing is something I need to do every couple of weeks, say, then I'm kidding myself; I ought to be doing it more or less every time I go out hunting.
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Saturday 19 September 2009

Out Hunting: Bees, the Catechism and the Oral Object


I found the papery remnants of a beehive when I was out wandering over the fields the other day. After I found it - and rather unwisely perhaps - I looked around for the place it had come from; spotting it, I stuck my head into the hedge where the rest of the hive was hidden. Perhaps I thought that there would be a few bee-free combs full of golden, glistening honey in there that I could pluck out with my bare hands? I'm sure that I had something like that in mind; I love honey, love sweet things, love anything, in fact, that I can cram into my mouth and, when it comes to getting hold of stuff with which to fill my cake-hole, I rarely let anything as trivial as moderation or common sense stand in my way.

What I found, though, when I stuck my head in the hedge was a hole in the ground filled up with more of these old comb fragments and a few disconsolate bees ambling around on top of them. Perhaps, it occurred to me at this point, there might well be a more lively hive beneath the remains of this older one? Perhaps, if there was, the inhabitants might not take kindly to my great ugly mush hovering over them? With this thought, I pulled my head out of the hedge and made off.

Then I sat under a tree for an hour waiting for pigeons and thinking - with little enthusiasm - of the vegetarian meal which awaited me at home if I didn't bag any birds. I'd taken a little book out with me so as to have something to read during these times when I'm staking out a tree in the hope of harvesting wood -pigeons. Opening it, I found myself reading these words by the Dominican friar Herbert McCabe:

We exercise the virtue of temperance in the matter of eating and drinking by, characteristically, taking and enjoying what is sufficient for our health and for the entertainment of our friends.

We may fail (in the exercise of temperateness in this area) by indifference to the enjoyments of the table; by eating and drinking that is totally divorced from either friendship or the requirements of health; by eating what is merely superficially attractive at the expense of a reasonable diet, by drug abuse and by all forms of gluttony.

After about three-quarters of an hour and two missed shots I gave up on the pigeons and went to sit under another tree in the hope of rabbits. The light was fading now and, as it did, so grew my dissatisfaction at the idea of a meatless meal. I must have meat! I thought, I must!

After another half-an-hour, and in near-full darkness by then, a rabbit hopped out from a burrow about five feet away from me and sat there with its back to me. With the scope on the rifle I had no chance of getting a shot at a target that close and so all I could do was sit there and watch it. After a few moments, still not having noticed me, it ran away up the field and kept on running until it was too far away for a shot.

In complete darkness, then, I went home and - with much satisfaction since fruitless hours in search of meat had left me with a great appetite - ate my, in truth, perfectly pleasant vegetarian supper.
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Wednesday 16 September 2009

Penkridge Village Market

I went along to the mid-week market at the nearby village of Penkridge today. There was an auction of local produce going on; hens, ducks and geese were to be sold and the cages with the animals inside were stacked up to form the walls of the outdoors auction room. Laid out on trestle tables all around were cardboard boxes and plastic trays all full of damsons, plums, cooking apples, tomatoes and many different types and sizes of eggs. Underneath the tables were dozens of rabbits all laid out on cattle-feed sacks or in boxes to be sold at auction as well.

Seeing all this made me happy. It was very nice to feel that the pleasure that I take in getting a rabbit for the table - or even a few damsons from a tree - are things that I could actually have in common with other human beings!

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Sunday 13 September 2009

Makings of an Autumn Breakfast.

I sat at the base of a tree today and looked up into the branches of another one close by. There was a rise of ground in front of me and, just on the brow of the little slope ahead of me was a red-brown pile of earth that'd been thrown out by a badger expanding its underground home. I've been told by a dog-walker that knows this field that sometimes the badgers dig up bottles and push them out onto the mounds by their front doors; I'd like to come across a badger-excavated old marble-stopped pop bottle above all things, I guess.

I sat under this tree in the late afternoon with the idea that I'd take a shot at any wood-pigeon that came to rest in the branches above. I sat there for close on an hour, looking up at the sky and imagining the pleasures of a grilled pigeon for dinner - but I had no luck. There were birds flying past but non chose to land in the tree I'd picked to sit alongside. I hadn't made any great attempts to hide myself beyond being dressed in drab green and sitting beside a big clump of nettles, mind you, so perhaps the pigeons just saw a chap with a gun sitting below a tree and thought that a roost down the field a little way might just be a better bet? Who knows.

Autumn is nearly here; it'll soon be time for me to acknowledge that if I actually do want to get a rabbit then I'm going to have to start going out at dusk again. I did see one or two today, out in the slightly weak afternoon sun, but this seems like nothing compared to the dozens I'd have seen at this time of day a month or so back.


On the way home, I picked a knee-pocket full of damsons from the abandoned orchard to make a sweet purée with which to enliven tomorrow's breakfast porridge.

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Saturday 12 September 2009

Shooting: Four shots (one miss).

I've been staying in Bristol and London for the last week.

Today, I went and sat in a field.

On my way home, I took a photograph of the nettles and the grass in the late afternoon sun.

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Thursday 3 September 2009

L'Atelier Vert - Rabbit Recipes


Just came across these involved but rather fine looking French recipies for rabbit on the site L'Atelier Vert:

Farm rabbit cooked like game

Daube of rabbit with rosé, lavender honey and thyme blossoms

Fricasée of rabbit with glazed onions, honey, and lavender

Rabbit braised with artichokes

Rabbit with mustard sauce

The only thing I'd quibble with about any of these very tasty looking recipes is the piece of advice that's given after one of them: "If you know a rabbit farmer, make sure to patronize him or her."

Well, no; be nice to rabbit farmers, that's my suggestion.
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Friday 28 August 2009

Bullet Points: Three Days of Hunting

  • Today I went to a public library and downloaded seven-hundred-odd meg of a Linux operating system to a memory stick while a lot of kids mucked about around me on the computers and when I got the memory stick home I discovered that I'd made a cock up of transferring the file and so the damn thing wouldn't burn to disc properly.
  • I haven't eaten any rabbit today.
  • I haven't gone shooting today.
  • It's pouring down with rain here today.
  • I did go shooting yesterday.
  • I missed.
  • Twice, I missed.
  • I did find another puffball - but not, it seemed, before a whole lot of little burrowing insects had found it first.
  • I did see an adorable baby cow in a field and I wished I had my camera with me.
  • I did also clamber through a small hole in a prickly hedge in a blind panic when a herd of cows surprised me by suddenly coming into the field where I was quietly stalking.
  • They scare the crap out of me, cows, they really do.
  • I went out shooting three days ago and I did get a rabbit (after a particularly satisfying bit of stalking and shooting the complexity of which I'm afraid I lack the stamina to describe right now) and I cooked it with rice, veg and some Saffron I found in the cupboard and, afterwards - although I scoffed the lot of course - I did slightly wish I hadn't put the Saffron in since I'd forgotten that, as well as the nice colour that's produced by the addition of this stuff to food it also adds the taste of Saffron as well and that, I discovered, is a taste I'm not that keen on.
  • Hopefully, tomorrow, it won't rain.
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Monday 24 August 2009

Air Rifle Fieldcraft: Breathing and Shooting

I took what felt to me to be a 'good shot' a few days ago. It was late afternoon and I'd just spent a while leaning up against a fence post and watching as the wood-pigeons came home to roost. I'd got up and walked across one field - patting a passing Labrador on the way - and then through a gate and down along the side of another. As I walked, I found that I was looking through a gap in the hedge at the bottom of the field at the land stretched out beyond and, squinting a little, I noticed that just visible in the green of the distant grass were two tiny patches of grey-brown.

I stepped sideways so that one clump of the old hedge would shield me from sight and kept on walking. There was a dip in the ground over the last dozen yards so I ducked down into this cover, dropped into a semi-crawl on my hands and knees, and managed to get to within ten yards of the hedge without the rabbits - perhaps another fifteen yards beyond in the next field - being able to see me.

Lying flat and raising the scope I saw that my approach hadn't gone completely unnoticed as the rabbits were sitting quite still and alert, holding their heads up high above the grass to look around.

I could have snatched at the shot but I decided - in the hope that an accurate shot in a few seconds time might yeild more than a quick but wobbly one right then - to take a moment or two and steady my breathing.

Looking through the scope I watched as, with each exhalation, the falling pressure of my breath lessened the push of my shoulder against the rifle stock and caused the cross-hairs to rise on the target. The sights climbed with my out-going breath and reached their peak in the momentary pause before the next inhalation which, increasing my shoulder pressure, would again force the reticule down.

In the cycle of two breaths I made tiny adjustments to my support of the rifle so that the peak of the sight's climb on the next exhalation would hopefully leave it paused - in the stillness before the next breath - on the head-shot aim-point just back from the eye and beneath the ear of the still-motionless rabbit. As my breath left me and the sight rose I tightened my squeeze on the trigger; the shot gave out much as I'd wished and the rabbit disappeared.

I scrambled through a gap in the hedge and made for the place where the rabbit had been and found it, to my surprise, head-shot and dead right there. I stood for a minute or so almost baffled at how well the shot had gone and pleased that, once again, I'd managed to get some food for the next few days.

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Tuesday 18 August 2009

Hubert's Cookery Tips: Cooking Rabbit with Olive Oil?


I'm no gourmet; I don't haunt delicatessens in search of edible exotica or loiter in puddles of my own drool beside the doorways of fancy restaurants. I don't really do posh nosh.

I do, however, regularly buy olive oil and, when I can afford it, I'll spend extra to get a bottle of oil that has a bit of taste to it. The furthest down the 'extra' road I ever got was a bottle of Nunez De Prado.

I came across it because I'd spent most of a day walking around the giant halls of the Tate Modern gallery in London and I was knackered, blitzed with high culture and very hungry. Wildly against my better judgement and heedless of the real state of my bank account, I decided - the hell with frugality! - to have a snack in the Tate's own swish restaurant.

I ordered the cheapest thing I could find and a devastatingly stylish waiter appeared bearing a tiny plate which was artfully adorned with one pink, glassy rectangular block (which turned out to be pressed hock of ham), one purple blob (a beetroot puree of some kind), a hand-hewn chunk of bread, a small pile of sea-salt flakes - and a circular pool of pale green oil.

All of these peculiar components turned out to be individually delicious but the star was - to my surprise - the oil: it was just unbelievably rich, complex and delicious. I was astounded; I had no idea that a simple thing like olive oil could get so good. I consulted the menu again: "...Nunez De Prado Oil". O.K, then.

When I got home I tracked down a supplier on the net, bought a bottle straight away and, for a few months after it arrived, every salad I ate was a feast and every dull boiled bit of veg - when garnished with a few drops of this stuff - positively shone on the palate! It was wonderful stuff.

It ran out, of course, and, because it's about twelve quid a bottle (about a fifth of my weekly income right now) I didn't buy another one. I did carry on using olive oil for almost everything I cooked, though - only I'd use Tesco 'Extra Virgin' at about a tenth of the cost.

This brings me - finally - to rabbit.

For months now I've been cooking rabbit with olive oil and I realised - yesterday - that I have finally developed an opinion regarding the merits of this which I am in a position to share with the readers of this blog. It's this:

Don't cook rabbit with olive oil.

Why not?

Well, even basic olive oil, I've decided, is just way too strong for rabbit. Rabbit - I've finally understood - is a delicately flavoured meat and a feisty, noticable oil like this just gets in the way, interferes with, clashes with the flavour of the meat - and then hangs around afterwards.

It's just not good.

I'd been suspecting this for a while but, since I'm a bit slow on the uptake - in this as in most things - it's taken a while for it to percolate through my bonce that something might be amiss in the kitchen. The last rabbit I got, by way of experiment, I cooked with sunflower oil only - and it was a huge improvement: there seemed to be space, this time, for the flavour of the meat to sit with the thyme and the rosemary; it was altogether fresher and less cloying than when cooked with olive oil.

Well, yes - that's quite enough Fanny Cradock impersonations for now, I think. Back to shooting stuff.
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Sunday 16 August 2009

Puffballs and the Scope again...

Two days ago, after missing a couple of rabbits and feeling thoroughly fed up with my skills using open sights, I found a puffball mushroom in the fields and carried it home. It's very odd and entertaining to cut one of these things up and include it in the makings of a meal - like cooking with expanded polystyrene:


The pasta dinner that it provided me with, however, was tasty and very welcome - the cooked puffball having a pleasant texture and a creamy, buttery flavour:

Today, I bolted the scope to the Weihrauch again, zeroed it with an ease that surprised me and - wincing at the extra weight on my still-painful, bike-fall-knackered wrist - from an impossibly uncomfortable half-crouching position behind a willow tree at the edge of an old damson grove, took my first rabbit for a month with a head-shot at fifteen yards.

I'm cooking it in accordance with the 'use what's in the cupboard' recipe so, today, that means with rice, the last of the puffball, cabbage, carrots and onion - plus thyme and rosemary from the windowbox. It's bubbling away on the stove behind me as I write.

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Thursday 9 July 2009

Back in the fields again.

I've not been out to the fields since I hurt myself a week ago falling off my bike. I've spent the time since then slapping antiseptic and sticky dressings on my knee, palms and elbow and trying to get a little flexibility back into my wrist. My knee is still painful but this evening I was so beside myself with restless, furious cabin-fever that I snatched up my gun and army jacket and set out anyway.

I took a few pictures of the motorway, climbed a stile into the fields, dodged a herd of over-curious cows - and then spent a beautiful couple of hours reacquainting myself with this place that, to my surprise, I find I've so keenly missed.

Paths that I walked every day and swiped clear with my knife are now darned across with thick ropes of new bramble; the summer growth has been so strong that I twice came into clearings and was each time startled, for a moment, at not recognising places that I know like my own home; fields that were waist high are now mown into lawns; fields that were flat are now knee-high tangles of dandelion and lush, green grass. Can it only have been a week?

I flopped on the ground - not caring that I'd frightened every rabbit for a hundred yards - and just lay there with my chin propped on my rifle butt, drinking in the setting sun, the view of the fields and the peace.

I came home - darkness falling - empty handed, caring not a damn.
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Thursday 2 July 2009

Pike Tales

A reader recently posted a comment on a post of mine about fishing which asked: How was the pike by the way?

Well, since you ask, the Pike was pretty good, thanks! As I recall, I filleted it, coated the produced steaks with a little seasoned flour, pan-fried them a nice golden brown and then ate them with a squeeze of lemon. It was very tasty. There's a nice bit in Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall's River Cottage Fish Bookwhere he says something like, 'you want to know what Pike tastes like? Well, it's not like chicken and beyond that, I'm not going to tell you - you'll just have to catch one and find out for yourself'.

I agree that landing one and cooking it is the best way to find out, but I think I can say a little more than Mr. Fearnley-Whittingstall about this. It's an interesting fish to eat; the flesh is very firm and white - far more like Tuna than it is like Cod, say - and it has a pleasant flavour all its own; one that's neither very delicate nor overwhelming. It's certainly not a 'muddy' taste - though I've never eaten a lake-caught Pike and I couldn't vouch for them. I've caught all the Pike I've ever eaten from a clean, fast-flowing local river which rises from its source about ten miles away from where I live and passes through no cities or sites of industry on its way to the place where I fish. I'm sure you can catch Pike in English canals but I've never pulled a fish out of a canal and then scoffed it myself; what that would taste like I've no idea.

Filleting Pike is rather tricky. Fearnley-Whittingstall suggests that one way around this is just to cook it with the bones in - steaming or roasting - and then separate the bones out on the plate as you eat. I have tried this and it's perfectly OK; the bones are big and easy to spot - but it is still a tad fiddly.

There are many helpful videos on YouTube about filleting Pike (along with countless unhelpful ones, of course); one of the best I found that helped me navigate the removal of the fiendish Y-Bones is this one:



This gentleman is filleting a medium-sized Pike but they can, I'm here to testify, grow to truly terrifying dimensions. I was fishing in a deep-water section of another local river last year - just alongside a wide bridge - when my line was abruptly taken out from close to the bank to mid-stream in what seemed like a fraction of a second by an extraordinary force. I was very taken aback - and probably yelped a fair bit - but I did manage to hang on to the rod and the very strong plaited braid I was using didn't break either. The line soon came back to the river bank and then there glided in front of me, just beneath the water and clearly visible, a glaring, furious, monstrous animal I would swear was the size of a fairly generous, full-grown Labrador.

Happily, the fish then prompty spat out the lure and swam away to leave me shaking with shock and relief on the river bank. Pike become too tough to make good eating, so I gather, when they get over five pounds in weight and so I've no wish at all to ever catch one that's larger than that. That one - though fishermen's tales must be taken with a little salt I suppose, my own included - was certainly a shade over five pounds.
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Wednesday 1 July 2009

The Karma of Hubert? On PETA, Suicide Food, the Cathars and Road Rash


In the turbulent wake of 'Flygate', Obama's doubtless illegal act of war against the species Musca domestica, I was following links from the always mind-boggling PETA site when I came across a blog called "Suicide Food" which I read for a while with some enjoyment.

The blog's premiss is a good one and it mines its niche with a single-minded diligence that lazy bloggers such as myself can only admire. It's an attack on one single strand of anthropomorphised advertising: the representation of animals as desiring their own consumption.

I find the blog thought-provoking, amusing and just-plain-wrong in about equal measure. The post about the high-kicking barbeque pig is a good example. It is a dumb and tasteless ad - fair enough - but the discussion at once introduces what seems to be the central motif of a school of ethical thought that's all over the animal rights scene like a rash: 'how can you not feel tainted just by witnessing this?' Ethics understood as the maintenance, at all costs, of the image of oneself as an ethically pure agent - untainted by the sinfulness at large in the soiled world beyond the realm of the pure.

I do find this point of view tremendously interesting and so I at once lurched off, after reading the blog, into writing a near dissertation-length post about 'Quasi-Buddhist Pelagian Dualism and the rise of the New Perfecti'

Realising, after about two thousand words, that I didn't have a clue what I was going on about, I hit, 'Save as Draft' instead of 'Post'. (A score of academics will, I'm sure, construct distinguished careers around the imagined contents of the 'Lost Post of Hubert on the Digital Cathars'. Oh well, what can you do? Those guys have got to make a living too, I suppose...).

Anthropomorphising animals is a thoroughly bad thing? Yeah, well, probably it is.

I was riding home last night after a warm summer rain and, coming to the the bottom of a fast downhill bend, I saw approaching, fallen from a much-perched upon tree above, a wide carpet of slimy bird poo across the smooth tarmac path. That looks a bit slippy, I though, as I sped towards it, a less-skilled cyclist might well take a tumble on such a treacherous surface - and then, of course, promptly went arse over tit and converted much of myself into pizza.

I suppose I could write a post now called, The Karma of Hubert: Small Animals Fight Back! - and that might be funny.

Would it be tasteless anthropomorphism, though? Well, yes, maybe it would be. Can I get worked up about it? No, I don't really think I can right now.

Right now, anyway, I have to go and change these damn band-aids...
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Monday 29 June 2009

Habits of Hubert: W.E Garrett Snuff

,
This week, thanks to the kindness of a gentleman from Pittsburgh who frequents the Snuffhouse site, I was the happy recipient of some fine American snuff. And yes, it's bloody evil, much stronger than anything I've come across in the UK. Very like - in the case of the Scotch, the white can on the left - sticking nicotine-laden, hot-chilli barbecue seasoning up your hooter. To my surprise, I'm getting a taste for it.

Reading the can, I noticed that it says 'causes gum disease and tooth loss'. Baffled by this, I resorted to a well-known search engine and discovered that people in the States are in the habit of sticking this stuff in their gob. Extraordinary. Thinking about it,though, I guess it's no weirder that putting it up your nose. They call it 'dipping', apparently. Here's the proof:

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Sunday 28 June 2009

How Do We Enjoy a Fish?


I caught this Pike last year. It wasn't the first Pike I ever caught, but it was the first Pike I ever landed, took home, cooked and ate.

The first Pike I ever caught I was just too astounded by the sheer enormity of having caught an animal so fierce and so beautiful that I just stood there on the riverbank, transfixed, gaping at it like a fool as it tugged on the line in the water at my feet. A few seconds passed like this as I wrestled with the shock of its beauty and the seeming sacrilege of my plans for it - and then it spat out the spinner and surged away to disappear into the waving green weeds downstream.

The first Pike that I landed - the fish in the photograph above - was, if anything, even more striking than the first. I'd gone out late in the day at the end of Autumn - dusk was becoming darkness and dense mists were rising from the floodplain fields behind me. The first cast of a red 'Flying C' lure produced an explosion at the bend of the river before me and this tremendous fish leapt out of the water and started to thrash at the line. Despite my shock, I landed it quickly and, as I say, killed it, took it home, cooked it and ate it.

Now I'm aware that I'm nervous writing this because in England at the moment, we don't really have a fishing culture that supports pulling fish out of rivers and then eating them. In England, by far the dominant notion of what you should do if you catch a Pike, say, is to lay it carefully on a mat, unhook the lure or deadbait that you used to catch it with, weight it, pose with it while an accomplice takes a photograph of you holding it - and then return it safely to the water.

This is the procedure for fishing understood as a 'sport' and there is, at the moment - and Izaak Walton would doubtless be amazed, but it's true nonetheless - almost no popular way in England of understanding what the word 'fishing' might refer to if it doesn't mean this. Catch and release: that's fishing . Coarse fish - Perch, Carp, Pike, Chub and the like - are almost universally caught, admired, weighed, photographed - and then put back in the water. That's what 'fishing' means here.

So there's been a very heated argument over the last few years - in on-line fishing forums and the sport-fishing press - that's been sparked almost entirely due to the influx into the country, temporarily or otherwise, of fishing folk from the rest of Europe. In most parts of mainland Europe, English 'sport' fishers have discovered to their dismay, the popular culture certainly does support the idea that 'trying to get some food' is one of the obvious, commonplace reasons why a person might take to the riverbank with a fishing pole.

Importing this approach into England, however, where the popular culture is very different as regards conventions on the riverbank, has proved far from simple and has sparked a furious series of arguments.

Certainly, a part of the heat has been generated by a number of Central European people who've been caught fishing in England without a Rod Licence. Scores of English nationals go fishing without a rod license (they're 25 quid a year and that's certainly been enough to prevent me getting one in the recent weeks since the season opened) and this is a matter for official censure and public disapproval - but a special fury seems to have been reserved for immigrants who have the temerity to behave as many UK citizens ordinarily do. People have been very cross about this - but it still hasn't been the big issue.

The big issue has been, I'd say, the question of the clash of cultures as regards the proper aim of a fishing expedition: do you go fishing in order to get photographs - or do you go to get food?

It's been very interesting to read the forums on this matter. Those whose fishing pleasure is organised around the 'sport' fishing model seem to be genuinely astonished and outraged with those whose enjoyment is organised a different way - and, interestingly, vice-versa. I read a fine post by a Scot who was treating the dominant English mode of fishing-enjoyment, sport fishing, with absolute contempt, "pulling them out of the water just to have a wee look at them!" - he was disgusted with the idea.

It seems to be that if you're a member of a group who are organised under one mode of enjoyment - 'fish are for food' or 'fish are for photos' - then it's baffling and infuriating to meet members of a group whose enjoyment is organised differently. If your group, say, enjoys a caught fish only with the eye, then meeting members of a group who enjoy them with the mouth as well seems to inspire a furiously disgusted revulsion.

So, I'm nervous admitting that I'm personally a member of the 'mouth clan': I enjoy eating fish that I've caught in the river.

It seems to be very difficult for different modes of enjoyment to exist together happily. It looks as though 'enjoyment' is a way that we define ourselves on a shared level that's set very deep. It's tricky enough getting along with people who think differently about things, who have opinions that we don't share - but living alongside people who enjoy things differently is a far greater challenge.
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The Correct Attire at the Riverside

It has come to my attention that the question of the correct attire for recreational pursuits - hunting, fishing and the like - is one that is being treated of, across the pages of the Internet, in a manner which I - and indeed, I am sure, any other right thinking gentleman - can only deplore.

I am sorry that it has come to this point, but I feel it is called for that I should make a definitive statement and, once and for all, put an end to this tide of idle prattle concerning namby-pamby, womanish and un-natural materials. The Good Lord did not put us on this earth in order for us to make mock of ourselves! No, we are made in the image of our Creator and we should, therefore dress, in our leisure time, much as he would; which is to say, primarily, of course, in stout tweeds, brogues and with a decent bloody cap on. None of this beastly 'Gortex' nonsense.

There. We'll speak no more of it, now: the matter is closed.
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Saturday 27 June 2009

A Conversation with the Local Game Dealer

These guys live just down the road from me; I took a snap of them while I was trying to catch the farm owner and see if I could hunt on his land - but he wasn't there. I carried on up the road on my bike and popped in at a local game dealers. I asked them if they wanted any rabbits.

'Rabbits!' he said, 'Gordon Bennett, no! We've got two hundred rabbits in the freezer at the moment! Who wants to eat rabbit stew in this weather?'

'Ah, well, O.K' I said.

'But come back in the season', he went on, 'in Autumn - and we'll take all the rabbits you can give us'.

'Oh, O.K, great!' I said, 'I will!'.

'They got to be bullet shot, mind, people don't want to be spitting out shotgun pellets these days...!'

'No problem',
I said, 'no problem. I've only got an air rifle...'

I
cycled away happy; it's nice to know that, come the Autumn, I can trade rabbits for a few quid or the odd pork chop.
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Sunday 21 June 2009

Wood Pigeon stuffed with Rabbit innards!


I managed to shoot both a woody and a rabbit last night (for the first time) so I decided I'd try and roast the pigeon with a 'stuffing' of rabbit offal. It sounds grim but was actually a delight, a real surprise.

I gutted the pigeon - I'd plucked it in the field and removed the crop already - chopped up a few spring onions, did nothing to the rabbit innards - liver, heart, kidneys - other than separate the wings of the liver from one another (obviously having removed the gall bladder while I was gutting the rabbit) and then mixed them with the spring onions; I dribbled a little olive oil on the mixture with a bit of salt and pepper and then stuffed them in the pigeon. I wrapped the bird in foil - after giving it a dribble of the oil plus seasoning too - and then roasted it at 250 degrees centigrade for about forty minutes.

I ended up doing this in my microwave oven (set to convection only) since my proper oven had decided to pack up last night. I've cooked pigeon breasts before - mainly grilling and frying them - but roasting the whole bird does seem to produce a better flavour. The rabbit innards were done to a turn and I scoffed the lot with a re-heated butternut squash I had left over from the day before. A really enjoyable meal!
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Saturday 20 June 2009

The Old Ways: Iron Sights and Morris Dancing.

I had a long chat with my old friend Sue on the phone today; Hey, she asked, how are you getting on with the 'iron sights' thing, then?

Ah, well, I said, I really need to go out and do some more zeroing. I've done a bit but I'm not quite there yet. The thing is, I really don't want to sit on the farmer's land and fire off forty-odd shots. There are people that live nearby and there are cows around and stuff - and I don't want to irritate the neighbours or wind up the farmer because I'm paranoid about losing permission to shoot on the land and all. So I've been putting it off for a day or so I guess...

Sue then told me all about her recent Village Fair: serving ice cream all day, a Hog Roast, then a boozy evening in the pub with a crowd of Morris Dancers. Sounds tremendous, I said, sounds great! God, I wish I'd been there...

After we'd finished chatting I thought about going into town and doing some shopping and, at the prospect, a great cloud of gloom fell on me. No, sod it, I thought, No, I won't do that; I'll go out and get this zeroing done instead.

I set off and soon found a nicely isolated little spot - away from the farm - where a chap could do a bit of zeroing in peace. I'd zeroed a little already - a couple of days before - at 18 yards but, thinking about it, I'd realised that almost everything I've ever successfully shot has been at a distance of about 25 yards. I decided today that I might just as well zero at that distance - so at least I'd know where I was for the range at which I most often find myself shooting. So here's my first 25 yard group with iron sights:

Well, I thought, it's untidy for a start - but it needs, at least, to go right a shade and perhaps up a wee bit too. So I gave the adjuster wheels a spin and produced:

Signifying that I'd got my directions mixed up and had confidently turned the wheels the wrong way. I'll spare the reader the half-dozen intermediate sheets where I inched back to the right and skip instead to:

Where I realised I'd gone too far to the right - and was still a shade low. A couple of clicks back and one click up produced this seven shot group:

O.K, I thought, that'll do.

I packed up and decided to have a quick wander through the fields. Just over the first stile I saw a rabbit right in front of me. I wasn't expecting that. I seem to spend a lot of time when I'm out hunting deciding that such-and-such a place, way over yonder, will be the likely spot to yield rabbits or pigeons and I set off for that place and - usually - blunder across quite a few animals on the way. I frighten them off every time precisely because I'm not thinking that there'll be anything to shoot at between the point I've started from and the place I'm making for. Today was one such occasion: I wasn't expecting to find a rabbit there and I didn't have my gun out of the bag. By the time I'd got the rifle out and loaded it - even as quietly as I could manage - the rabbit had heard me and fled.

I looked around and saw some pigeons in the middle of the same field and decided to see if I could crawl over to them. Crawling with an open-sights rifle and no scope! What a revelation! What a joy! It's hugely better than trying to stalk with a dirty great scope on the gun: you can hold the rifle in many different ways, all of them easier than with the scope in the way; you don't have to worry about banging the fragile scope and, best of all, it's much lighter to carry. I covered the ground - for me - fairly swiftly and then nervously levelled the sights on the closest pigeon. This - and there's no big surprise here, I suppose, but it still took me aback - is much harder than with a scope: the animal is a great deal smaller, seems a very long way away, and focusing on three things at once is no joke for my middle-aged eyes. Nonetheless, I took the 20-yard shot and - to my amazement - got it.

I went to the abandoned orchard after that and got a rabbit, too. A thirty-yard shot this time - but taken standing. The scope weighs 700g, one-and-half pounds; I could never hold the near-twelve-pound weight of the rifle plus scope steady for more than a few seconds when I'd tried standing shots before. Today, though, it seemed perfectly possible to keep the now-lighter rifle steady enough for such a shot. The transformation is a revelation, really.

Productive as they both were - and enlightening, too, each in their own way, these scope-less shots - neither of them would make it into a textbook for the new school of clinical, turn-the-animal-off-like-a-light, air-rifle hunting. I had to dispatch the flapping pigeon with a blow from the side of my heavy lock knife and break the neck of the still-kicking rabbit. But I did get food for the next few days and I also got confirmation that - though there's more practise needed, to be sure - hunting with iron sights is certainly possible.

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