Monday, 25 January 2010

Nude Celebrities in Image of Ethics Shock!

Well, I was eating my brekkie this morning (mashed banana in a toasted and lightly buttered Staffordshire Oatcake, since you ask) and wondering, like you do, about cynical ploys I could exploit to drive what's know as 'traffic' - and that's you, gentle reader - to my blog. Maybe I'm missing something obvious, I thought. Maybe I should just use the tried and tested methods of generating blog traffic and not try to come up any kind of smart-arse new techniques? Cynicism isn't famous for being imaginative now, is it?

So. O.K. More Nude Celebrities it is. Ta-daaa!

That's a bit of a sultry and coquettish come hither pout there from Tommy Lee, isn't it? Quite endearing. I rather like the top of what I take to be a Buddhist Lotus that I can see peeking up from the summit of his pleasure equipment, too. Nirvana is to be found here, perhaps? Well, perhaps.
Gracious, but that's an innocent expression, isn't it (on Ms. Imbrugia, I mean)? This is a very handy thing to try and keep in mind when trying to sort out the sorry tangle of rights and wrongs in human ethical behaviour, I mean, can anything really matter more than, 'Do I look attractive in this opinion?' The blade of this devastating discursive tool cuts through the tiresome Gordian knot of conflict, debate and dialectic in a time-saving trice; enough with inquiry, analysis and the struggle for truth: which of the sides in a disagreement looks the most sexy? Thanks be to God that the ugly people with lousy teeth are predictably, satisfyingly and dependably wrong.

Well, yes, O.K. I'm persuaded. You look comely in the buff, madam, and so I shall therefore eschew leather goods, wear nothing but rubber plimsolls and go to my maker assured that an eternity of karma-free bliss is mine for the asking.

Joanna Krupa? Well, it's a great poster! I like the chorus of spooky, staring, mesmerised Stepford-pooches in particular; they add a genuinely surreal touch that pushes this appalling photoshop-of-horrors soft porn farrago up to a pack-leading place amongst the finest examples of witless, manipulative and nauseating propaganda.

Ah, help me out; you were in the new Battlestar Galactica, yes? I think, despite my massive tolerance for weak sci-fi and imported American TV, that I bailed on this after about a half-dozen episodes. It was that or go mad, as I recall.

Imogen Bailey in the rude. Excellent. You were in 'Neighbours' so Wikipedia informs me. Here in the West Midlands, I have to say, very few of my neighbours look like that.

I think Mr. Rodman carries this off rather better than Tommy Lee. Maybe I should get some tattoos done before my 'Crikey no! I'd much rather wear fur than go naked!' photoshoot? What would I get done? I've teetered on the brink of ink once or twice but I've never quite toppled over the edge. The only one that really comes to mind would be a fully life-size representation of a Staffordshire Bull Terrier on my torso; one that would expand and become increasingly more threatening as my girth filled out due to consumption of 'Old Peculier' and triple-choc muffins.
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  1. The Suburban Bushwacker25 January 2010 at 14:27

    Just to make you sick
    I did have a neighbor who looked a lot like that, until she was evicted by the unfeeling (and clearly blind) Co-op. Gutted

  2. Re attracting viewers, not bad looking women, but I still think I prefere pics which are more interesting. Such as hunting rabbits!
    Or even more exciting, hunting Australian wild boar with an air rifle!!!

  3. The Suburban Bushwacker27 January 2010 at 15:20

    Nice boar, interesting wabbits. But no cigar
    PS Yep!

  4. I feel comftable in my own skin,

    And warm in theres! sorry peta your never going to convince me, never ever